Conan O’Brien’s Fatbat is the fear-based alternative to Fitbit – CNET

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that’s taken over our lives.


Is technology failing you in your quest to lose weight?

Even though you have a Fitbit or an Apple Watch, does watching your step count really get you to your ideal level of svelte?

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that’s taken over our lives.

Is technology failing you in your quest to lose weight?

Even though you have a Fitbit or an Apple Watch, does watching your step count really get you to your ideal level of svelte?

Conan O’Brien and his sidekick Andy Richter have the perfect solution for you, one that understands the essence of human nature.

It’s called Fatbat and the late-night hosts are sure that it works far better than the Fitbit that’s so beloved by many of their coworkers.

“I just don’t think numbers and graphs are the best way to exercise,” explains Richter.

So Fatbat delves into the basement of your psyche, the place where fear lurks.

You see, Fatbat consists of a very large man with a baseball bat. Yes, that’s it.

More Technically Incorrect‘Remote detonator’ Wi-Fi name leads to gym evacuationDrone near-miss with commercial flight given highest risk ratingFortnite on the Jumbotron? Yes, at the Cleveland Indians

He simply follows you around and injects the fear of all universes into you, so that you will exercise. Or else.

In the true spirit of hard-sell advertising, Richter presents his first Fatbat client as having already lost 24 lbs, using this relatively non-technological, but seemingly effective method.

Astute logicians might notice something of a flaw in the Fatbat design.

Once you begin to become lithe and sprightly, your Fatbat won’t be able to keep up with you.

That will only lure you back toward the heinous behaviors that made you gain weight in the first place, creating a vicious cycle.

Still, who can deny that humans are motivated by fear?

Perhaps just the thought of the large man with the bat will keep you on the straight and narrow. Especially the narrow.

Tech Enabled: CNET chronicles tech’s role in providing new kinds of accessibility.

Blockchain Decoded: CNET looks at the tech powering bitcoin — and soon, too, a myriad of services that will change your life.

Share your voice

Post a comment

Tags
Technically IncorrectGadgetsTV and MoviesFitbit

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *